Undeclared (The D'Dioses Recall Bop)

Nobody asked for this. Nobody needed this. And yet here we are, fully committed.

On May 27, 2026, De Dios's Ice Pops II LLC of Paterson, New Jersey issued a voluntary FDA allergy alert for their D'Dioses Fruit Popsicles line — sixteen tropical flavors in 3.7 oz. packages, possibly containing undeclared MILK, YELLOW #5, RED #40, PECANS, AND PISTACHIOS. The recall notice is written in the flat, procedural language of government compliance documents. It is extremely sincere. It is also, word for word, a perfect K-pop song.

So that's what this is. Every line in the chorus came straight from the official recall text. The phone number in the bridge (973-279-7900, Monday through Friday, 9 AM to 4:30 PM Eastern Standard Time) is the real consumer contact line. The sixteen flavors — coco, mango, tamarindo, pina colada, limon, guayaba, mamey, nanche, rompope, vainilla, nuez, pistachio, arroz con leche, grocella, fresa, cookies and cream — are all real and they are all in this song now. The punchline isn't in the lyrics; the punchline is that the FDA recall notice sounds exactly like a K-pop group confessing a secret in their comeback single, and nobody can explain why.

The original allergy alert is here — and yes, the source document is just as unhinged when you read it straight.

[Verse 1] Coco, mango, tamarindo Pina colada, limon, guayaba Mamey, nanche, rompope Sixteen flavors in a 3.7 oz. package

Vainilla, nuez, pistachio Arroz con leche, grocella, fresa Cookies and cream taste so good But there's a little something we forgot to mention

[Pre-Chorus] An FDA inspection came around Found some improvements to be found We are voluntarily recalling — Are you ready for the big reveal?

[Chorus] MILK! YELLOW NUMBER FIVE! RED NUMBER FORTY! PECANS! AND PISTACHIOS! People with an allergy or severe sensitivity Run the risk of serious or life-threatening Allergic reactions! (D'Dioses~) Return to place of purchase for a full refund All units produced before April twenty-seven Return to place of purchase — it's a bop, it's a recall~

[Verse 2] Distributed across NJ, NY, PA, and CT Retail grocery stores near you No illnesses reported to date, baby But please check your freezer, do

Manufacturing processes required improvement To prevent allergen cross-contact, yes indeed We implemented corrected procedures As directed by the FDA~

[Pre-Chorus] Products after April twenty-seven Made under FDA-verified procedures (ooh~) Call us Monday through Friday Nine AM to four-thirty Eastern Standard Time~

[Chorus] MILK! YELLOW NUMBER FIVE! RED NUMBER FORTY! PECANS! AND PISTACHIOS! People with an allergy or severe sensitivity Run the risk of serious or life-threatening Allergic reactions! (D'Dioses~) Return to place of purchase for a full refund All units produced before April twenty-seven Return to place of purchase — it's a bop, it's a recall~

[Bridge] Nine-seven-three Two-seven-nine Seven-nine-zero-zero (call us!) Nine-seven-three Two-seven-nine Seven-nine-zero-zero (we love you!) DE DIOS'S ICE POPS II LLC Issuing this allergy alert today~

[Outro] D'Dioses (hey!) — undeclared allergens (hey!) D'Dioses (hey!) — check your labels (hey!) Sixteen flavors, five surprises, one FDA notice D'Dioses forever~